No Penises Please, We're Canadians!

There's not much to add except to say it was a lot funnier watching it on TV. He has got my vote.


Size matters say Conservatives

OTTAWA (CP) - For Conservatives, apparently size does matter - at least when it comes to politics.

Tory MP Rahim Jaffer parlayed reports of a government-funded documentary about penises into some bawdy humour about the size of Paul Martin's caucus Wednesday. The Liberals lost three-dozen MPs in the June federal election and Jaffer joked that thoughts of their lost majority might leave Martin with caucus-envy.

"Not only frustrated by having such a small caucus for a governing party, the prime minister suffers the humiliation of having a smaller caucus than his predecessor, Jean Chretien," the Edmonton MP deadpanned.

"The prime minister is distraught over the fact that he could not elect a majority. Worse, Jean Chretien, a man older than he, brags that he did it three times."

Jaffer's phallic monologue began with a reference to a Toronto film company that used classified ads to search for "the perfect penis."

The project received three separate grants totalling over $133,000 from the Canadian Television Fund.

Jaffer wondered aloud why the government would fund such a project.

He eventually offered Martin an unsolicited piece of advice about governing with a shrunken caucus.

"To avoid a crisis, we would recommend that the prime minister stop popping Velotrin (a penis-enlargement pill sold over the Internet) and just accept what he has - a minority."